Monday, November 2, 2009

Goodbyes


In our lives there are times where we must say goodbye. However, I think we don't have to truly say goodbye, but say I love you and I look forward to the moment when we will reunite. My beloved Grandma died last week. It still hasn't really sunk into my reality, but I know she is gone. The experiences I have had leading up to her passing I will always cherish.

My Grandma and I had a special relationship. My Grandma was a convert to the church because of her decision to join my faith, testimony, and life have been blessed. I remember when I called and told her I was serving a mission the pride that was in her voice. She told me that I would be the first in her family to serve. She hasn't been active in years, but I could feel at that moment her love and support.

When my family and I first moved to Utah my grandma was my pen pal. She would write me letters so I would smile. What a wonderful joy it was for me to receive those letters in the mail. It wasn't until recently that I regret that I didn't carry through with that.

She use to tell me that she was going to spank me. If you knew her you knew she was to frail to carry through. So actually she would try, but it was always from fun and love.

I am addicted to little Debbies because of her. Her fridge was always filled with them. That and her candy dish always had some hard candy.

She was terrified of birds. She watched that scary movie once and from that moment on she was terrified of birds.

She once ran me over. I was walking behind her scooter when she was heading to bed and she put it in reverse and ran over me. The funniest part about it was that she got so mad at me. It didn't hurt, but it was hysterical.

I honestly say that as I look back there was never a dull or bad memory. My Grandma was amazing because she was always a part of everything. When I was eight my Fathers Mother died. I was so dis-hearted because I thought I would never have the "typical" grandparent experience, but really I had it and so much more. As I look back I remember all that I have become because of that unconditional love that she had for me.

For so long I joked about someone having to accept my family and how hard that would be, but as I have reflected this past week I have realized if they don't love my family then they are idiots. My family is amazing. I don't know if I could justly describe each of us other then being a family. There are so many differences that hold and binds us together. I feel that I was an idiot for taking advantage of that for so long.

My life is complete no matter what comes because I have experienced the greatest kind of love. It really doesn't matter that I am not married, dating, etc. what matters is that I have experienced love, laughter, tears, sorrows, trials... in all reality is that I have experienced life! In all that has occurred I have found that to be an important key. Something is always going to try us in this life. That is why we are here, but it is up to us what comes because of it.

I am going to smile because I was blessed to have amazing Grandparents, wonderful Aunts and Uncles, loving parents, caring siblings, inspiring friends, and encounters with others that have shaped me to be me! At the end of the day when all is settled and the baggage is claimed it is up to each of us to determine where we will go from there!