Ok so here is the truth. I am struggling. I am facing trials and tribulations that I pray everyday to make through. I am not perfect nor will I ever claim to be, but I am still a daughter of a Loving Heavenly Father who knows me better then anyone else. He knows my trials, pains, sorrows, weaknesses, and flaws, but He has a perfect love for me because He knows that I am trying. I am not asked to be perfect because lets face it that is impossible for me to do, but I am asked to try and endure to the end. That is all that any of us our asked to do.
I know that people think that I am tough, but sometimes no matter how tough you are or how hard you try to let things roll off it still hurts. It is okay that it hurts because I am only human. I know I choose to be offended, but I don't choose to have people say those things. I can change peoples views on me even though sometimes I try. Their judgement is made and the verdict is casted, but sometimes I wonder if it is just because I am different.
My differences are what make me me! Sarcastic, blunt, honest, hard working, loud, and any other category I fit into. I am not ashamed of who I am because I know who I am. I know what I am working on and I choose to strive to be a better person everyday. It doesn't mean that I won't mess up, but it does mean that when I do mess up I try harder. I am not saying I am better then anyone because I am not, but I will be DARNED if I am any WORSE!
I just say this because my heart is hurt. These last few weeks quite a few people have hurt it with their actions and words. I can't be the person you want or expect me to be I can only be me. It is the same as you. I can't ask you to be anything other then who you are. Does it mean that I am going to like everyone? No, but it does mean that I am going to embrace the differences and be ok. Yeah I am hurt right now, but the truth is give me a little time and I will be fine. Just remember that we are made to be different and although you can be upset with me or dislike me if you choose please just don't tear me down and I promise not to tear you down.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Joy
It amazes me how it is the little things in life that truly bring us joy. It isn't really the big moments, but all the small moments leading up to the big one that make a difference in our lives. As I have watched my life and others who are near to my heart experience these, greater gratitude has encompassed my heart.
We all know the typical land marks we all wait for in our lives. High School and graduation, turning eighteen and twenty-one, dating, college and graduation, marriage, owning our own homes, becoming parents, becoming grandparents, etc. These moments are the big moments in our lives, but what about the small moments. Heart breaks, homework and dances, hanging out with friends, the years inbetween the birthdays, etc. These small moments are what prepares us for the big moments.
I love the counsel that President Monson gave in the October conference. "This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now."
Seeing the little moments is what does bring us joy. It is how hard we had to work or what we experienced leading to the big moments. I know I sound like I am repeating, but I have come to see that when I miss all the little moments I find myself sad. However, when I see the little moments and blessings as part of my journey I find the joy I long for. Joy isn't just the happy big moments, but it is every aspect of our lives. It is what helps us to see who we are and what we are becoming. It isn't the big moments that define us it is how we handle all the small moments and what we do with the trials that come.
My heart is full of love and gratitude. All the stupid things that I focus negatively on just don't matter anymore. I am going to take the counsel of President Monson and find my joy in the journey now so when the big moments come my joy will be even fuller!!
We all know the typical land marks we all wait for in our lives. High School and graduation, turning eighteen and twenty-one, dating, college and graduation, marriage, owning our own homes, becoming parents, becoming grandparents, etc. These moments are the big moments in our lives, but what about the small moments. Heart breaks, homework and dances, hanging out with friends, the years inbetween the birthdays, etc. These small moments are what prepares us for the big moments.
I love the counsel that President Monson gave in the October conference. "This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now."
Seeing the little moments is what does bring us joy. It is how hard we had to work or what we experienced leading to the big moments. I know I sound like I am repeating, but I have come to see that when I miss all the little moments I find myself sad. However, when I see the little moments and blessings as part of my journey I find the joy I long for. Joy isn't just the happy big moments, but it is every aspect of our lives. It is what helps us to see who we are and what we are becoming. It isn't the big moments that define us it is how we handle all the small moments and what we do with the trials that come.
My heart is full of love and gratitude. All the stupid things that I focus negatively on just don't matter anymore. I am going to take the counsel of President Monson and find my joy in the journey now so when the big moments come my joy will be even fuller!!
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