Part of the Journey is Letting Go

Over the last few days I have found myself in a state of reflection.  Noticing that I am yet again not happy with who I see when I am looking in the mirror.  I don't dislike the person because of looks, but because of the actions of that day.  So instead of loathing myself I decided to first forgive myself then to move on with the journey I began a few months ago.  
I decided a few months ago not to back down from who I am again.  I love and cherish diversity because it is what gives life, life.  I made a decision to give myself a something to look at that would show me who I am when I have forgotten.  So many things contributed to this decision mostly I felt there was so much background noise that I couldn't hear my own heart so now I see on my left shoulder who I know I am.
As I have tried to let the people in my life see me I noticed a few were adamant in not seeing who I truly was and this is when I decided to let them go in my life.  It wasn't an easy decision, but it is one that I can say without doubt was necessary.  However, I have noticed one person who continually holds me back.  Do they intentionally hold me back?  Honestly I don't know, but a word of wisdom so simply put brings me to where I need to be again:  "Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option"~ Maya Angelou.  I have decided to truly let go so I can move on.  I know it is time to say farewell to some loved people in my life because I am no longer accepting being the option.
I have come to except what I cannot change, learned to let go of what wasn't meant to be, and have begun to fight for what I deserve.  I am not an obligation, after thought, back up plan, or waiting around any longer.  Here's to a new day, new hope, and a bright future filled with opportunity and love.
Here's to the journey I started so many months ago and refuse not to continue with my head held high.

"Am I Willing to Die for This?"

"Am I Willing to Die for This?"  how many times do we find ourself able to answer yes to this question?  We fill our lives with things, people, beliefs, ideals, etc are we willing to die for them?  Is there specific things in our lives that we are willing to die for, but others we are not?  Some people may think this is a little creepy of a question, but the point is really how much do we care about things we are involved or have in our lives?

This week I had this question brought to my mind and as I have analyzed things I have come to realize there are some situations that I can say yes and some I am not sure.  Here is what I do know:

I have chosen a career where my whole hearted answer is yes I am willing to die for it.  Working with the deaf community is a fight I am ready and willing to have.  As I thought about this I thought of two things I have already given up without second guessing because I know I will be involved with this community my whole life.  How many of us can say our chosen career is something we love this much?

Next I thought about the people in my life.  Both my family and friends who I consider my family.  This without hesitation is yes!  I would die for anyone in my life.  It is the people in my life that make it so I am alive.  However, the question then came to my mind regarding love.  Do I have someone in my life that I would be willing to die for that meant more to me then just a friend?  My answer is...no I haven't met someone I am willing to die for.  I know someday I will.  I have experienced love in my life, but for me to feel this I must feel they are willing to die for me as well.  Isn't that how you know it is true love?  Knowing you would and knowing they would never ask that of you?

Of course thinking of the people in my life lead to my beliefs.  I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints as such I am also willing to die for my beliefs.  I may not be everyones ideal of member, but for the gospel and my Savior I am willing to give my life.  For eighteen months I did give him both my heart and my life which made me a better person. 

As for other parts of life I am still analyzing, but I do know I wouldn't live my life any other way then with my full heart.  I am lucky in my life to know this at such an age where it will make or break who I become.