Do you ever have those moments where there is just complete clarity? Where you have been fighting a truth for so long and then it just dawns on you? Today I had that. It hit me at the strangest moment, but none the less it hit. One second I was laughing the next I was crying. Although I felt as if a rug was pulled out from under me it didn't hurt as bad as I thought. Yeah it hurt, but at the same time there was peace.
The tender mercies of the Lord come to comfort and strengthen. It is this that I find myself most grateful for. The clarity I received isn't the answer that I wanted yet He gave it in the most gentle way. Reminding me of the wonderful aspects of who I am. Not the me everyone tends to see, but the real me.
Today in Relief Society we talked about the Saviors life. The teacher did this in a fresh way. What she had us do is remember a story of Christ's life and connect it with an experience in our life. The story I felt related to my life was the one with the adulterous woman. It isn't because I am committing adultery. It is because of my life. See something I realized was that I have been allowing the judgments and condemnation of others to make me feel like I am not worthy of anything good. I sit with my held hanging low because I feel as though I do not deserve respect or love. I actually believe that I am not a good person. However today I realized that Christ has paid the price. He knows my past and has told me to sin no more. He is allowing me to walk away and become better. He is allowing myself to see the mistakes I make and change me ways.
I will no longer condemn myself or allow myself to believe I do not deserve the great blessings that are in store for me. I am going to allow myself to reach the potential that is staring me in the face. I am working on my imperfections and I am trying to perfect myself through the Atonement of my Savior. To my Father in Heaven and my Savior I do answer for the things in my life that I do, but I will not answer for the judgments or ideals others place on me.
Clarity comes in the moments we need it not when we want it. It isn't always the clarity we want either, but it is a loving Heavenly Father guiding His children. That truth I cling to knowing He sees more than me and at all times loves me!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Running
Some times I find in life that there are moments where we run. We run from what we long for most due to fear. Thinking at that moment that we are doing what is best, but really we are giving up the best thing for us. I am use to running, been running most of my life, but I know I can’t run forever nor do I want to anymore.
We all have something we want, dream of, or desire most. For some it is a relationship, a family, an education, a career, a talent, or just the next step in our lives. Sometimes it seems to be coming so easily that we fear it is too good to be true. I currently am in this stage. I am getting the education I have always longed for. About to apply for the school of my dreams and achieve the career that I feel I was created to do. I am terrified! This fear is natural. This fear is there in some cases because it is us stepping out of our comfort zone into the will of the Lord. It is also a tool Satan uses to get us to run from the path. Then there are other times it is just our insecurities.
We run because we think that it won’t hurt as bad, that we don’t deserve it, or even that we don’t truly have enough to offer. This is another deception. If we are presented with our dreams, desires, needs, or wants we must remember by whom it was given. It is natural to fear something when it is something we feel inadequate about. The thing to remember is that if we turn this over to the Lord He will give us the direction. It means casting aside our doubts and replacing them with faith.
I have great faith that the Lord will lead me! He always has. He knows me better then I know myself and wants the best for me. I am finding things that are best for me I never dreamt of. Now when I feel like running I do, but I run into His loving embrace and allow him to teach me the truth. My inadequacies are swallowed up in His perfect love and knowledge. I know I deserve my dreams, desires, and needs. Not always do I get what I want, but I usually receive blessings I never thought I was good enough for.
I know I have a lot to offer my family, my friends, the world, and my future family. I know I am not perfect, but that doesn’t mean I do not deserve blessings or have nothing to offer. I have me to offer. I come with a shoulder to lean on that has the great strength to bear burdens, a heart that gives and receives loves without holding back, experiences for the better and worse that continually makes me wiser, compassion that can help heal a wounded soul, arms that give comfort, strength, help and support to any within their reach or embrace, eyes that share the light and love of the Lord, a smile that brings joy and understanding, and legs to go the distance.
There will still be moments that I forget, fear, or loose faith in myself, but I am blessed with a Heavenly Father who will not let me forget that which I know. I know this life is going to have its difficulties, but I know it doesn’t matter because they have been over come. It was this act of a loving Brother that helps me put my running shoes away and walk along the path that has been laid before me.
We all have something we want, dream of, or desire most. For some it is a relationship, a family, an education, a career, a talent, or just the next step in our lives. Sometimes it seems to be coming so easily that we fear it is too good to be true. I currently am in this stage. I am getting the education I have always longed for. About to apply for the school of my dreams and achieve the career that I feel I was created to do. I am terrified! This fear is natural. This fear is there in some cases because it is us stepping out of our comfort zone into the will of the Lord. It is also a tool Satan uses to get us to run from the path. Then there are other times it is just our insecurities.
We run because we think that it won’t hurt as bad, that we don’t deserve it, or even that we don’t truly have enough to offer. This is another deception. If we are presented with our dreams, desires, needs, or wants we must remember by whom it was given. It is natural to fear something when it is something we feel inadequate about. The thing to remember is that if we turn this over to the Lord He will give us the direction. It means casting aside our doubts and replacing them with faith.
I have great faith that the Lord will lead me! He always has. He knows me better then I know myself and wants the best for me. I am finding things that are best for me I never dreamt of. Now when I feel like running I do, but I run into His loving embrace and allow him to teach me the truth. My inadequacies are swallowed up in His perfect love and knowledge. I know I deserve my dreams, desires, and needs. Not always do I get what I want, but I usually receive blessings I never thought I was good enough for.
I know I have a lot to offer my family, my friends, the world, and my future family. I know I am not perfect, but that doesn’t mean I do not deserve blessings or have nothing to offer. I have me to offer. I come with a shoulder to lean on that has the great strength to bear burdens, a heart that gives and receives loves without holding back, experiences for the better and worse that continually makes me wiser, compassion that can help heal a wounded soul, arms that give comfort, strength, help and support to any within their reach or embrace, eyes that share the light and love of the Lord, a smile that brings joy and understanding, and legs to go the distance.
There will still be moments that I forget, fear, or loose faith in myself, but I am blessed with a Heavenly Father who will not let me forget that which I know. I know this life is going to have its difficulties, but I know it doesn’t matter because they have been over come. It was this act of a loving Brother that helps me put my running shoes away and walk along the path that has been laid before me.
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