I'm Movin' On

There comes a time in everyones life where they decide enough is enough in certain circumstances. We can't wait for other people to change to become what we want or need them to be, but we can change our hearts and see past the haze. Life has been hard these last few months. Harder then I thought they should be or then I could handle, but I was wrong. These last few months were exactly what I needed to find me again.

We all start out with good intentions and wanting to find others to help us grow. If we aren't careful we end up shrinking or becoming a completely other person. No one intends to become negative, dark, or ornery, but it is something that happens over a span of time. This happened to me and the harder I thought to fight the more it engolfed me. I can't blame anyone else for the decisions I have made in my life or what I became because I chose to.

We all choose how we react or what we let into our lives. Yes it is difficult to keep certain things out, but really we can as long as we try. I am grateful for the LDS mission that I served because it was there that I say what I had become and who I really was. A friend of mine recently wrote a paper about this exact subject. We loose who we were and become someone different without really noticing it until it is brought to our attention or it is to late. She compared us changing to a frog being boiled. If you put the frog in hot water right of he is going to jump out of the pot, but if you put him in cold water and gradually warm it to the boil he will die. That is how we are in our lives. We can put off sin especially "big" sins, but if we aren't careful all the "small" sins make us comfortable to the point we don't see the moment where we become "cooked".

Even if we jump out of the pot before we are completely "cooked" we still have the memories and the regrets. Sometimes other "frogs" are trying to talk us back into the pot because they are still not seeing what is going on. We have to make the decision for ourselves what we want to do. We have to slowly move on and find who we truly are.

I love the Rascal Flatts song "I'm movin' on". We will all face this truth that we need to let go of the past regrets, pain, sins, sorrow, etc. so we can move on to become who we are. We can hang on to things and end up holding ourselves back, but once we decide to let go we move on. My life has a past I don't regret it or look back on it with any negavitivity. My life has a present that I want to live in. My life also has a future and I am going to wait patiently for it to come.